EMAIL PET PEEVES (First 15)
Readers Respond: What Email Etiquette Hint Do You Wish Others Would Follow?
Responses: 150
By Heinz Tschabitscher , About.com Guide
Tons of addresses in the To: line; no greeting, or words aplenty until the sender gets to the point; forwarded messages that consist of nothing but, well, whatever that is...
What irks you most about email etiquette not followed, or followed too much perhaps?
What email etiquette hint do you most wish others would follow? Share Your Pet Peeve
Bcc
I don't bother to read emails with too many "To:" and Cc:" recipients. This list should include instructions to use "Bcc:" when emailing more than five people, except when it's important for each recipient to know who was sen the message, in which case sometimes making a group of recipients named "Donut Morons" or something will help because only the group name will be in the "To:" or "Cc:" field instead of dozens of recipients. It's occurred to me before that it's important for everyone to have everyone else's email address in an organization without a global address book, but this can be done with a single email for that purpose only every time the list ("Donut Morons") is updated.
—GuestBobtholomew
Too many Questions Marks
When someone ends a question with more than one question mark. Rude!
—GuestDoris Foley
An entire message in the subject line!
Are you kidding me? This is the WORST thing anyone could do! Writing everything in the bloody subject line, leaving the body of the email blank! This not just irks and irritates me, but angers me beyond my limit! Those who don't know how to email should bloody keep their thick heads out of it and stick to pen and paper. Shame on you!
—GuestSam Wise
Responding appropriately
Some of us are the recipients of e-mails from someone with "Reply All-itis". Too, too much information and information being sent is neither helpful nor pertinent to all of us. How do we make it stop?!
—GuestDiane
Receipt Request
My biggest peeve is when certain individuals have a receipt request on every email sent. They feel as if you are infringing on their constitutional rights if you ask them to use it on a needed basis and not as a default.
—GuestGerry - Federal Employee
Salutation on Emails
When you are sending email to co-workers you see every day, I feel a salutation is NOT needed. Everyone I work with writes "Greetings Pat" or "Dear Pat". That is not necessary when forwarding or sending new email to people you know. It's too formal!
—maggie1957
Stationery In The Workplace
Do not use stationery in the workplace. This takes up additional space on the email, is hard to read through, and the cute little foot prints, flowers, designs… have no place in the workplace. Save it for your personal email with friends and family.
—GuestGuest Z08
Political, religious and/or sexual email
People (may even be a spouse) sending me political, religious and/or sexual emails, i.e. forwards, photos, etc. that are not appropriate, and especially if I have written and requested that they stop.
—Guestcager38
What can I do?
A coworker of mine uses email as instant messenger, replies to old emails with a new subject (but does not change the subject line) and often injects comments about her personal life to work emails.
—GuestLostInFL
Greetings and/or sign-offs
Isn't the address and return in the heading enough to know who the recipient and sender are? Why duplicate things?
—rquacke
BCC Si!
And yet another vote for using BCC when you forward things. I don't know everyone in your address book, they don't know me, and I don't necessarily want them to have my email address. Not to mention that if anyone receiving that CC'd email picks up a virus, you've just compromised every single email address on that CC.
—GuestAmy
Privacy!
Don't give out other people's personal email addresses without asking. Ever.
—GuestAmy
Hoax and Jokes
I hate emails about the crazy man trying to harm you and stupid jokes.
—GuestCAR
Emails that disturb and annoy
1) Rude or poor language—even in official mails in corporate—esp many now using SMS type text and often have lost all courtesy. 2) Junk Fwds—sent esp fear to psyche on health matters and fake data. Overall I find about 20% are junk mails inc gross humor fwds
—GuestCaptTRajkumar
Did you pass English?
[One of my pet peeves is] continuous rambling without punctuation. Please read your emails before you send! I also send one question per email; most people don't respond to more than one at a time.
MY THOUGHTS
Recognize any?
Showing posts with label etiquette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label etiquette. Show all posts
Monday, June 6, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
KINDNESS OF STRANGERS
The Kindness of Strangers
Thursday February 3, 2011
Categories: Good Deeds
"Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers." - Blanche DuBois from A Streetcar Named Desire
When was the last time someone did something unexpectedly nice for you? Not someone you knew, but a total stranger? All this talk about compassion and the golden rule got me thinking about the kindness of strangers. It's happened to me a few times, but two instances really stand out.
A few years ago, I was dining out with a person who kept going on and on about himself, completely oblivious to the fact that I was sitting there in misery. It wasn't his company that bummed me out. I was recovering from a broken heart, and just sitting down to dinner reminded me of my last relationship. I could have collapsed in tears right there at the table.
When we picked up the check, the waitress said, "Your meal was already paid for." My friend and I didn't have a clue how it happened. Then I remembered a man coming in out of the corner of my eye. He was dressed in mostly white, sat down at the bar, had a shot of gin, stayed for maybe ten minutes, then left. The waitress said, "Yes, the gentleman who was in here a while ago paid for you." True story. It felt like a little nudge from God saying, "I see you, honey. It's gonna be okay."
Just last year, I was running a half-marathon. With just .1 miles to go, I was out of gas. Runners call it "hitting the wall"; I thought I couldn't move another muscle. Out of nowhere, a teenager jogs up next to me and says, "What's your name, sweetie? Jennifer? Okay, Jennifer, let's go! Come on! It's just around the corner! You can do it!" And he ran with me until I picked up my pace. I found him at the finish line to thank him for the encouragement only to learn he wasn't even supposed to be in the race that day. He was running in place of someone else.
I still shake my head when I think of these momentary angels that came to me at my point of need. Do you have any experiences like this? A random act of kindness by a stranger? Share your story.
MY THOUGHTS
got your own story to tell? it certainly feels good when some stranger shows you kindness. but it feels even better when you're that stranger being kind to another human being you don't know. picking-up the cheque might be too much. but we don't need a list of how-to-be-kind. just look around, feel around and rise up to the occasion.
Thursday February 3, 2011
Categories: Good Deeds
"Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers." - Blanche DuBois from A Streetcar Named Desire
When was the last time someone did something unexpectedly nice for you? Not someone you knew, but a total stranger? All this talk about compassion and the golden rule got me thinking about the kindness of strangers. It's happened to me a few times, but two instances really stand out.
A few years ago, I was dining out with a person who kept going on and on about himself, completely oblivious to the fact that I was sitting there in misery. It wasn't his company that bummed me out. I was recovering from a broken heart, and just sitting down to dinner reminded me of my last relationship. I could have collapsed in tears right there at the table.
When we picked up the check, the waitress said, "Your meal was already paid for." My friend and I didn't have a clue how it happened. Then I remembered a man coming in out of the corner of my eye. He was dressed in mostly white, sat down at the bar, had a shot of gin, stayed for maybe ten minutes, then left. The waitress said, "Yes, the gentleman who was in here a while ago paid for you." True story. It felt like a little nudge from God saying, "I see you, honey. It's gonna be okay."
Just last year, I was running a half-marathon. With just .1 miles to go, I was out of gas. Runners call it "hitting the wall"; I thought I couldn't move another muscle. Out of nowhere, a teenager jogs up next to me and says, "What's your name, sweetie? Jennifer? Okay, Jennifer, let's go! Come on! It's just around the corner! You can do it!" And he ran with me until I picked up my pace. I found him at the finish line to thank him for the encouragement only to learn he wasn't even supposed to be in the race that day. He was running in place of someone else.
I still shake my head when I think of these momentary angels that came to me at my point of need. Do you have any experiences like this? A random act of kindness by a stranger? Share your story.
MY THOUGHTS
got your own story to tell? it certainly feels good when some stranger shows you kindness. but it feels even better when you're that stranger being kind to another human being you don't know. picking-up the cheque might be too much. but we don't need a list of how-to-be-kind. just look around, feel around and rise up to the occasion.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
important email rules
Top 26 Most Important Rules of Email Etiquette
By Heinz Tschabitscher, About.com Guide
The rules of email etiquette are not "rules" in the sense that I will come after you if you don't follow them. They are guidelines that help avoid mistakes (like offending someone when you don't mean to) and misunderstandings (like being offended when you're not meant to). These core rules of email etiquette help us communicate better via email.
1. Take Another Look Before You Send a Message - Don't send anything you don't want to send.
2. Do Not Default to "Reply All" - "Reply" is good. "Reply to All" is better. Right?
3. Keep Emails Short - Do not intimidate recipients with too much text.
4. Properly Format Your Email Replies, and Be Lazy - Do you think quoting original text in your email replies perfectly is a lot of work? Don't let the '>' intimidate you!
5. Write Perfect Subject Lines - Do you make these mistakes in your email subjects? (The key to getting your messages read is not to be clever.)
6. Clean Up Emails Before Forwarding Them - Forwarding emails is a great way of sharing ideas, but make sure the original idea is not hidden in obfuscation.
7. When in Doubt, Send Plain Text Email, Not HTML - Not everybody can receive your fancily formatted emails. Some may even react furious. To be safe rather than sorry, send plain text emails only when in doubt.
8. Don't Forward Hoaxes - Email hoaxes often contain stories that are intriguing, and sure to irritate. Here's how to spot and stop urban legends.
9. Use Current Antivirus Software, Keep it Up to Date, Scan for Free
Make sure you're not spreading worms and viruses via email or act as a vehicle for spreading spam. All this can be caused by malicious emails. Fortunately, there's protection.
10. Say Why You Think What You Forward Will Interest the Recipient
More and better communication makes better relationships.
11. Do Let People Know Their Mail Has Been Received - Did the spam filter eat my message? Spare others this nagging question and let them know you got their email.
12. Ask Before You Send Huge Attachments - Don't clog email systems without permission.
13. Talk About One Subject per Email Message Only - Help make the world less confusing. Try to talk about one subject per message only. For another subject, start a new email.
14. Punctuation Matters; in Emails Too - Comma, colon, hyphen and semicolon — all exist for a reason: they make it easier to understand the intended meaning of a sentence. Don't make life more difficult and possibly less interesting for the recipients of your emails. Pay some — though not too pedantically much — attention to punctuation.
15. Use Acronyms Sparingly - DYK? Not everybody knows every acronym, and they don't save that much time anyway.
16. Resize Pictures to Handy Proportions Before Inserting Them in Emails
When your photos look good in your email, you look good, too!
17. Writing in All Caps is Like Shouting - Don't shout in your emails (and all caps is so difficult to read).
18. Be Careful with Irony in Emails - No, really! I mean it. Honestly!
19. Catch Typos by Printing Your Emails - You can often find typos or misplaced commas neither your spell checker nor you yourself catch when proofreading on the screen.
20. How to Avoid Embarrassing Emails - Avoid embarrassing emails by sending them to yourself only (by default).
21. Set Your System Clock Right - Make sure you don't send messages from 1981.
22. In Doubt, End Emails with "Thanks" - If you don't know how to say good-bye at the end of an email, there's one thing that will almost always be appropriate. Thanks.
23. Where to Put Your Signature - Without a line sub-scripted "sign here", how do you decide where to place your email signature?
24. Wondering "How to Put That in Writing", Write "That" -
Tell it like it is. Have you noticed how people who you understand perfectly well when you listen to them become cryptic when they start writing?
25. Why You Should Compress Files Before Sending Them via Email -
Smaller is more beautiful, at least when it comes to email attachments. So make files smaller before your send them via email.
26. Avoid "Me Too" Messages -
"Me too" is not enough content, but too much annoyance.
MY THOUGHTS
some of the tips here i do not understand.some, in my opinion, are too much. why not a "me, too" if that's what you mean and that's the only message you want to convey? i'd like to subscribe to cleaning mails before forwarding. i just hate scrolling and scrolling and scrolling down thousands of email addresses before getting to the message. and guess what, i never thought it necessary to ask permission first before sending a large file. i would certainly appreciate that.
By Heinz Tschabitscher, About.com Guide
The rules of email etiquette are not "rules" in the sense that I will come after you if you don't follow them. They are guidelines that help avoid mistakes (like offending someone when you don't mean to) and misunderstandings (like being offended when you're not meant to). These core rules of email etiquette help us communicate better via email.
1. Take Another Look Before You Send a Message - Don't send anything you don't want to send.
2. Do Not Default to "Reply All" - "Reply" is good. "Reply to All" is better. Right?
3. Keep Emails Short - Do not intimidate recipients with too much text.
4. Properly Format Your Email Replies, and Be Lazy - Do you think quoting original text in your email replies perfectly is a lot of work? Don't let the '>' intimidate you!
5. Write Perfect Subject Lines - Do you make these mistakes in your email subjects? (The key to getting your messages read is not to be clever.)
6. Clean Up Emails Before Forwarding Them - Forwarding emails is a great way of sharing ideas, but make sure the original idea is not hidden in obfuscation.
7. When in Doubt, Send Plain Text Email, Not HTML - Not everybody can receive your fancily formatted emails. Some may even react furious. To be safe rather than sorry, send plain text emails only when in doubt.
8. Don't Forward Hoaxes - Email hoaxes often contain stories that are intriguing, and sure to irritate. Here's how to spot and stop urban legends.
9. Use Current Antivirus Software, Keep it Up to Date, Scan for Free
Make sure you're not spreading worms and viruses via email or act as a vehicle for spreading spam. All this can be caused by malicious emails. Fortunately, there's protection.
10. Say Why You Think What You Forward Will Interest the Recipient
More and better communication makes better relationships.
11. Do Let People Know Their Mail Has Been Received - Did the spam filter eat my message? Spare others this nagging question and let them know you got their email.
12. Ask Before You Send Huge Attachments - Don't clog email systems without permission.
13. Talk About One Subject per Email Message Only - Help make the world less confusing. Try to talk about one subject per message only. For another subject, start a new email.
14. Punctuation Matters; in Emails Too - Comma, colon, hyphen and semicolon — all exist for a reason: they make it easier to understand the intended meaning of a sentence. Don't make life more difficult and possibly less interesting for the recipients of your emails. Pay some — though not too pedantically much — attention to punctuation.
15. Use Acronyms Sparingly - DYK? Not everybody knows every acronym, and they don't save that much time anyway.
16. Resize Pictures to Handy Proportions Before Inserting Them in Emails
When your photos look good in your email, you look good, too!
17. Writing in All Caps is Like Shouting - Don't shout in your emails (and all caps is so difficult to read).
18. Be Careful with Irony in Emails - No, really! I mean it. Honestly!
19. Catch Typos by Printing Your Emails - You can often find typos or misplaced commas neither your spell checker nor you yourself catch when proofreading on the screen.
20. How to Avoid Embarrassing Emails - Avoid embarrassing emails by sending them to yourself only (by default).
21. Set Your System Clock Right - Make sure you don't send messages from 1981.
22. In Doubt, End Emails with "Thanks" - If you don't know how to say good-bye at the end of an email, there's one thing that will almost always be appropriate. Thanks.
23. Where to Put Your Signature - Without a line sub-scripted "sign here", how do you decide where to place your email signature?
24. Wondering "How to Put That in Writing", Write "That" -
Tell it like it is. Have you noticed how people who you understand perfectly well when you listen to them become cryptic when they start writing?
25. Why You Should Compress Files Before Sending Them via Email -
Smaller is more beautiful, at least when it comes to email attachments. So make files smaller before your send them via email.
26. Avoid "Me Too" Messages -
"Me too" is not enough content, but too much annoyance.
MY THOUGHTS
some of the tips here i do not understand.some, in my opinion, are too much. why not a "me, too" if that's what you mean and that's the only message you want to convey? i'd like to subscribe to cleaning mails before forwarding. i just hate scrolling and scrolling and scrolling down thousands of email addresses before getting to the message. and guess what, i never thought it necessary to ask permission first before sending a large file. i would certainly appreciate that.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Etiquette 101:How to deliver bad news
ASK THE EXPERT | HOW TO DELIVER BAD NEWS
Wednesday, 20th October 2010
KAY-YUT CHEN AND MARINA KRAKOVSKY
http://www.cityam.com/city-focus/ask-the-expert-how-deliver-bad-news
LUCKILY for most of us, we don’t have to announce anything as difficult as cuts in the welfare budget, unlike George Osborne, who outlined his comprehensive spending review yesterday. Yet at some point in their careers all managers have to deliver bad news. So when you do, what’s the best way?
For starters, explain, explain, explain. Decades of research in psychology and behavioural economics point to the importance of providing explanations for your actions. Whether you’re making an unfair offer, playing uncooperatively in a Prisoner’s Dilemma game, or announcing a layoff, explaining why you're doing what you’re doing and showing that you mean well typically softens the blow. In the absence of explanations, people have a tendency to assume the worst of intentions for your behaviour. And though it seems to the more rational-minded among us that the only pertinent information is the objective outcome – such as pounds lost or saved – to most people what is in your heart and mind matters quite a bit.
Second, focus on the most pertinent comparisons. Human nature means that bad news makes for good copy, and dire rumors spread faster than good tidings. It’s not surprising, then, that listeners tend to focus on the most dramatic aspects of a situation rather than the most level-headed.
Thirdly, make sure that you are framing your news in the best way for you. Give statistics, background and information to back up why you are doing what you are. There are many ways to spin a situation, so make sure that your justifications are clear and well backed-up with facts and figures. Then you are more likely to bring people with you.
Finally, be decisive. Though some people thrill to uncertain prospects, most loathe uncertainty. Part of the danger in delivering bad news is that it will be seen as a sign of more trouble to come. So if the news you’re delivering is the worst of it, say so.
Kay-Yut Chen and Marina Krakovsky are the authors of Secrets of the Moneylab: How Understanding People Will Increase Your Profits (Portfolio Penguin)
MY THOUGHTS
i will never like being the bearer of bad news. what's more difficult is what comes after you deliver the bad news. you're able to somehow plan what to say about the news. but you can never tell how the person would react.
Wednesday, 20th October 2010
KAY-YUT CHEN AND MARINA KRAKOVSKY
http://www.cityam.com/city-focus/ask-the-expert-how-deliver-bad-news
LUCKILY for most of us, we don’t have to announce anything as difficult as cuts in the welfare budget, unlike George Osborne, who outlined his comprehensive spending review yesterday. Yet at some point in their careers all managers have to deliver bad news. So when you do, what’s the best way?
For starters, explain, explain, explain. Decades of research in psychology and behavioural economics point to the importance of providing explanations for your actions. Whether you’re making an unfair offer, playing uncooperatively in a Prisoner’s Dilemma game, or announcing a layoff, explaining why you're doing what you’re doing and showing that you mean well typically softens the blow. In the absence of explanations, people have a tendency to assume the worst of intentions for your behaviour. And though it seems to the more rational-minded among us that the only pertinent information is the objective outcome – such as pounds lost or saved – to most people what is in your heart and mind matters quite a bit.
Second, focus on the most pertinent comparisons. Human nature means that bad news makes for good copy, and dire rumors spread faster than good tidings. It’s not surprising, then, that listeners tend to focus on the most dramatic aspects of a situation rather than the most level-headed.
Thirdly, make sure that you are framing your news in the best way for you. Give statistics, background and information to back up why you are doing what you are. There are many ways to spin a situation, so make sure that your justifications are clear and well backed-up with facts and figures. Then you are more likely to bring people with you.
Finally, be decisive. Though some people thrill to uncertain prospects, most loathe uncertainty. Part of the danger in delivering bad news is that it will be seen as a sign of more trouble to come. So if the news you’re delivering is the worst of it, say so.
Kay-Yut Chen and Marina Krakovsky are the authors of Secrets of the Moneylab: How Understanding People Will Increase Your Profits (Portfolio Penguin)
MY THOUGHTS
i will never like being the bearer of bad news. what's more difficult is what comes after you deliver the bad news. you're able to somehow plan what to say about the news. but you can never tell how the person would react.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Etiquette 101: What NOT to say in the Americas
Etiquette 101: Smart Talk
by Boris Kachka | Published November 2009 | See more Condé Nast Traveler articles
http://www.concierge.com/cntraveler/articles/501931
THE AMERICAS
Several quirks of geography and economic development have shaped this hemisphere's sensitive areas (we shouldn't say "taboos"; compared with much of the world, it's a pretty easygoing place). Catholicism is more deeply rooted in some countries than in others, and very liberal nations (Brazil) coexist with others that consider themselves the peak of propriety (Chile). And then, of course, there is Latin America's proximity to the United States and the desire to demonstrate equal standing. Finally, in the case of Canada, there's the desire to prove itself a bit apart from the noisy neighbor who insists on dominating so much of the conversation.
ARGENGTINA
Absolutely verboten: The Dirty War and the "disappeared" of the 1970s, definitely still a deep trauma in the nation's psyche, are not to be referenced casually. Radioactive: The Peróns, whose legacy is much debated. You never know how an Argentine will feel about them.
Definitely not: The Falklands War may seem like an amusing '80s footnote, even to Brits—but certainly not to the nation that lost.
Not a good idea: The economic crises of the past several years, for which many hold the International Monetary Fund and American policies responsible.
Ill-advised: Lumping Argentina in with all of Latin America (many Argentines believe that they stand apart from the rest of the continent).
Talk away! Argentina as unique within the continent; its prosperous past (if not present). And most middle-class people have therapists and love to talk about them.
CANADA
Absolutely verboten: Impugning Canada's national health-care system. Canadians are fiercely proud of it. In a television contest, viewers voted the founder of the system the greatest Canadian hero.
Radioactive: Remarking how similar Canada is to the United States can be tantamount to calling it the fifty-first state.
Definitely not: Any reliance on a few stereotypes (e.g., making fun of how they say, "Eh?") may unearth the sarcasm beneath their (stereotypical) politeness.
Not a good idea: Be careful in discussing Toronto and how wonderful it is; many regional Canadians, especially out west, don't like it.
Ill-advised: Don't mistake politeness for the casual oversharing so common in the United States. Canadians, like Europeans, will bristle if you get too personal too fast.
Talk away! Hockey—they really do love it as much as we think they do. The runner-up in the Canadian-hero contest was a hockey coach turned sportscaster.
BRAZIL
Absolutely verboten: Dwelling on money, whether fussing over how to split the check ("People will think you're greedy," says Brazilian-American Paulo Padilha) or asking what someone does for a living.
Radioactive: Bringing up the level of violence or constantly asking if it's safe to go out. There surely are many problems, but it's not something to harp on.
Definitely not: Padilha cites the rule, "No politics or football at the dinner table." As a foreigner, you can bring up soccer—politics, not so much.
Not a good idea: Making light of Catholicism: Brazil may be a fairly liberal country, but even an urban sophisticate may be a deeply devout Catholic—no Vatican jokes, please.
Ill-advised: Commenting crudely on women, which can get you into hot water as a gringo.
Talk away! Music is universally beloved, so praising Brazilian song, or even asking if your acquaintance can recommend an artist, is always a good idea.
CHILE
Absolutely verboten: The dictatorships of either Augusto Pinochet (on the right) or Salvador Allende (on the left), about whom opinions are passionate and vary widely.
Radioactive: How great a time you had in Argentina. Chileans can be a bit touchy about their internationally acclaimed neighbor to the east Definitely not: And their other neighbors—Peru and Bolivia—with whom they had territorial clashes in the nineteenth century.
Not a good idea: Sex or toilet humor, without prompting—despite its modern gloss, Chile is one of the more conservative countries in Latin America.
Ill-advised: Pisco as a Peruvian drink. Though it really is, the Chileans consider the liqueur to be a source of native pride.
Talk away! Chile's rolling hills; its wineries; and the cleanliness and modernity of Santiago.
MEXICO
Absolutely verboten: Crime and corruption: It's sure to be a topic of discussion, but it's not something you should bring up in a cavalier way.
Radioactive: As in Spain, bullfighting is a matter of cultural pride, so stumping for animal rights may not win you many friends.
Definitely not: Immigration is a fact of life, but the United States' wonderpolicy on illegals is a sore point—and sometimes a humiliating one.
Not a good idea: Mexico is still a strongly Catholic country, which means religious and social questions are best approached delicately, particularly in rural areas.
Ill-advised: In general, getting down to business before coffee, even during a quick business lunch, is considered rude.
Talk away! Always talk about marriage or family. Knowledge of Mexico's cultural heritage and food (not Tex-Mex) will go a long way, as will familiarity with such family rites as the quinceañera.
MY THOUGHTS
some cultures can really be sensitive. i wonder if we appear the sameto others?
by Boris Kachka | Published November 2009 | See more Condé Nast Traveler articles
http://www.concierge.com/cntraveler/articles/501931
THE AMERICAS
Several quirks of geography and economic development have shaped this hemisphere's sensitive areas (we shouldn't say "taboos"; compared with much of the world, it's a pretty easygoing place). Catholicism is more deeply rooted in some countries than in others, and very liberal nations (Brazil) coexist with others that consider themselves the peak of propriety (Chile). And then, of course, there is Latin America's proximity to the United States and the desire to demonstrate equal standing. Finally, in the case of Canada, there's the desire to prove itself a bit apart from the noisy neighbor who insists on dominating so much of the conversation.
ARGENGTINA
Absolutely verboten: The Dirty War and the "disappeared" of the 1970s, definitely still a deep trauma in the nation's psyche, are not to be referenced casually. Radioactive: The Peróns, whose legacy is much debated. You never know how an Argentine will feel about them.
Definitely not: The Falklands War may seem like an amusing '80s footnote, even to Brits—but certainly not to the nation that lost.
Not a good idea: The economic crises of the past several years, for which many hold the International Monetary Fund and American policies responsible.
Ill-advised: Lumping Argentina in with all of Latin America (many Argentines believe that they stand apart from the rest of the continent).
Talk away! Argentina as unique within the continent; its prosperous past (if not present). And most middle-class people have therapists and love to talk about them.
CANADA
Absolutely verboten: Impugning Canada's national health-care system. Canadians are fiercely proud of it. In a television contest, viewers voted the founder of the system the greatest Canadian hero.
Radioactive: Remarking how similar Canada is to the United States can be tantamount to calling it the fifty-first state.
Definitely not: Any reliance on a few stereotypes (e.g., making fun of how they say, "Eh?") may unearth the sarcasm beneath their (stereotypical) politeness.
Not a good idea: Be careful in discussing Toronto and how wonderful it is; many regional Canadians, especially out west, don't like it.
Ill-advised: Don't mistake politeness for the casual oversharing so common in the United States. Canadians, like Europeans, will bristle if you get too personal too fast.
Talk away! Hockey—they really do love it as much as we think they do. The runner-up in the Canadian-hero contest was a hockey coach turned sportscaster.
BRAZIL
Absolutely verboten: Dwelling on money, whether fussing over how to split the check ("People will think you're greedy," says Brazilian-American Paulo Padilha) or asking what someone does for a living.
Radioactive: Bringing up the level of violence or constantly asking if it's safe to go out. There surely are many problems, but it's not something to harp on.
Definitely not: Padilha cites the rule, "No politics or football at the dinner table." As a foreigner, you can bring up soccer—politics, not so much.
Not a good idea: Making light of Catholicism: Brazil may be a fairly liberal country, but even an urban sophisticate may be a deeply devout Catholic—no Vatican jokes, please.
Ill-advised: Commenting crudely on women, which can get you into hot water as a gringo.
Talk away! Music is universally beloved, so praising Brazilian song, or even asking if your acquaintance can recommend an artist, is always a good idea.
CHILE
Absolutely verboten: The dictatorships of either Augusto Pinochet (on the right) or Salvador Allende (on the left), about whom opinions are passionate and vary widely.
Radioactive: How great a time you had in Argentina. Chileans can be a bit touchy about their internationally acclaimed neighbor to the east Definitely not: And their other neighbors—Peru and Bolivia—with whom they had territorial clashes in the nineteenth century.
Not a good idea: Sex or toilet humor, without prompting—despite its modern gloss, Chile is one of the more conservative countries in Latin America.
Ill-advised: Pisco as a Peruvian drink. Though it really is, the Chileans consider the liqueur to be a source of native pride.
Talk away! Chile's rolling hills; its wineries; and the cleanliness and modernity of Santiago.
MEXICO
Absolutely verboten: Crime and corruption: It's sure to be a topic of discussion, but it's not something you should bring up in a cavalier way.
Radioactive: As in Spain, bullfighting is a matter of cultural pride, so stumping for animal rights may not win you many friends.
Definitely not: Immigration is a fact of life, but the United States' wonderpolicy on illegals is a sore point—and sometimes a humiliating one.
Not a good idea: Mexico is still a strongly Catholic country, which means religious and social questions are best approached delicately, particularly in rural areas.
Ill-advised: In general, getting down to business before coffee, even during a quick business lunch, is considered rude.
Talk away! Always talk about marriage or family. Knowledge of Mexico's cultural heritage and food (not Tex-Mex) will go a long way, as will familiarity with such family rites as the quinceañera.
MY THOUGHTS
some cultures can really be sensitive. i wonder if we appear the sameto others?
Saturday, October 30, 2010
what NOT to talk about when in the Middle East
Etiquette 101: Smart Talk (in the Middle East
by Boris Kachka | Published November 2009 | See more Condé Nast Traveler articles
http://www.concierge.com/cntraveler/articles/501931
First Do No Harm...Every country has its subtle taboos and unspoken codes, but when you get down to it, it's what you say, not how you say it, that really gets you in the door (or kicked out). Our guide to the most dangerous topics around the world rates them according to our own alert system, from highest to lowest risk, followed by a few safe subjects that might put you back on solid ground.
THE MIDDLE EAST
In a part of the world where nearly every facet of life has become wrapped up in politics and religion, keeping things personal and avoiding the global is more than just a way of being polite: For both tourists and residents, it can be a coping strategy. Even naive attempts to find common ground ("You have Christians too!") can easily backfire. Not that residents from Morocco to Israel to Jordan don't love a good debate, but it might be a life-and-death argument in which the opposing sides can't even agree on common premises. Entering with an open mind and a do-no-harm approach is essential, and in many cases a focus on the simple things (friends, food, family) can create an oasis of peaceful coexistence.
EGYPT
Absolutely verboten: Anything having to do with the position of Jews in the world; you may hear conspiracy theories.
Radioactive: The lack of democracy in the country; the prevalence of corruption; and the threat of religious resistance.
Definitely not: Suggesting peace with Israel as a way to build bridges might lead to a backlash; the truce is much less popular with the populace than it is with the government.
Not a good idea: Terrorism and its impact on stability and tourism.
Ill-advised: It's best to avoid bringing up the Coptic Christians—an underclass here—even in terms of trying to find common ground.
Talk away! The country's cultural relics and historical importance—or simply steer the conversation back to business.
ISRAEL
Absolutely verboten: Israelis certainly discuss the Palestinian "situation," but a certain exhaustion has set in. Starting out with accusations of ill treatment will not get you very far. Discussing it even with Palestinians might lead to weary responses.
Radioactive: Referring to the security fence under construction as "the wall" would be considered a loaded statement.
Definitely not: Any mention of racial divisions—not just between Israelis and Palestinians but also between European and Middle Eastern Jews—should be approached carefully, if at all.
Not a good idea: The assumption that Israelis are religious, or questions about levels of belief. There is a great deal of diversity of religious commitment as well as some conflict between religious and secular Israelis.
Ill-advised: Asking exactly how someone served in the army (foot soldiers versus Intelligence Corps) might bring up class issues.
Talk away! Israel as a thriving democracy; the quality and freshness of the food.
MOROCCO
Absolutely verboten: Any criticism of the king or inquiries into the royal family.
Radioactive: Homosexuality—many Moroccans will assert that it doesn't exist here.
Definitely not: The fraught history of the Jews who used to live here, which challenges the notion of Morocco as a tolerant place.
Not a good idea: Comparing the status of women in Morocco with Western women, or even questions such as, "Why is your wife not coming along?"
Ill-advised: The Israeli-Palestinian conflict—not a great subject, but less charged than in other Middle Eastern states.
Talk away! The fine cuisine; and the peaceful and tolerant atmosphere.
JORDAN
Absolutely verboten: Honor killings, which have been in the news lately and are a source of shame for many Jordanians (and you may not want to engage the ones who approve).
Radioactive: Criticizing Islam—the subject is just as sacrosanct here as in Egypt or Saudi Arabia.
Definitely not: Saying anything negative about the kingdom—which is illegal anyway.
Not a good idea: The Palestinian situation, but especially the refugees in Jordan who don't have full citizenship or sovereignty (despite the fact that together with Iraqi refugees they outnumber Jordanians).
Ill-advised: The historic treatment of bedouins—although it's fine to document their many past achievements (slightly analogous to Native Americans in the United States).
Talk away! The country's relatively high level of development; and the queen's beauty and good works.
SOUTH AFRICA
Absolutely verboten: Modern-day racism—people like to think of themselves as having moved completely beyond the apartheid era.
Radioactive: The situation in Zimbabwe; and South Africa's lack of intervention against Robert Mugabe.
Definitely not: Former president Thabo Mbeki's controversial (and counterfactual) views on HIV and AIDS.
Not a good idea: Corruption charges against Jacob Zuma; and general political infighting.
Ill-advised: Criticisms of the government's performance in the post-apartheid era.
Talk away! Nelson Mandela; equal rights; and relative prosperity
MY THOUGHTS
just zip it. i'd be too scared to open my mouth. my lips are sealed.
by Boris Kachka | Published November 2009 | See more Condé Nast Traveler articles
http://www.concierge.com/cntraveler/articles/501931
First Do No Harm...Every country has its subtle taboos and unspoken codes, but when you get down to it, it's what you say, not how you say it, that really gets you in the door (or kicked out). Our guide to the most dangerous topics around the world rates them according to our own alert system, from highest to lowest risk, followed by a few safe subjects that might put you back on solid ground.
THE MIDDLE EAST
In a part of the world where nearly every facet of life has become wrapped up in politics and religion, keeping things personal and avoiding the global is more than just a way of being polite: For both tourists and residents, it can be a coping strategy. Even naive attempts to find common ground ("You have Christians too!") can easily backfire. Not that residents from Morocco to Israel to Jordan don't love a good debate, but it might be a life-and-death argument in which the opposing sides can't even agree on common premises. Entering with an open mind and a do-no-harm approach is essential, and in many cases a focus on the simple things (friends, food, family) can create an oasis of peaceful coexistence.
EGYPT
Absolutely verboten: Anything having to do with the position of Jews in the world; you may hear conspiracy theories.
Radioactive: The lack of democracy in the country; the prevalence of corruption; and the threat of religious resistance.
Definitely not: Suggesting peace with Israel as a way to build bridges might lead to a backlash; the truce is much less popular with the populace than it is with the government.
Not a good idea: Terrorism and its impact on stability and tourism.
Ill-advised: It's best to avoid bringing up the Coptic Christians—an underclass here—even in terms of trying to find common ground.
Talk away! The country's cultural relics and historical importance—or simply steer the conversation back to business.
ISRAEL
Absolutely verboten: Israelis certainly discuss the Palestinian "situation," but a certain exhaustion has set in. Starting out with accusations of ill treatment will not get you very far. Discussing it even with Palestinians might lead to weary responses.
Radioactive: Referring to the security fence under construction as "the wall" would be considered a loaded statement.
Definitely not: Any mention of racial divisions—not just between Israelis and Palestinians but also between European and Middle Eastern Jews—should be approached carefully, if at all.
Not a good idea: The assumption that Israelis are religious, or questions about levels of belief. There is a great deal of diversity of religious commitment as well as some conflict between religious and secular Israelis.
Ill-advised: Asking exactly how someone served in the army (foot soldiers versus Intelligence Corps) might bring up class issues.
Talk away! Israel as a thriving democracy; the quality and freshness of the food.
MOROCCO
Absolutely verboten: Any criticism of the king or inquiries into the royal family.
Radioactive: Homosexuality—many Moroccans will assert that it doesn't exist here.
Definitely not: The fraught history of the Jews who used to live here, which challenges the notion of Morocco as a tolerant place.
Not a good idea: Comparing the status of women in Morocco with Western women, or even questions such as, "Why is your wife not coming along?"
Ill-advised: The Israeli-Palestinian conflict—not a great subject, but less charged than in other Middle Eastern states.
Talk away! The fine cuisine; and the peaceful and tolerant atmosphere.
JORDAN
Absolutely verboten: Honor killings, which have been in the news lately and are a source of shame for many Jordanians (and you may not want to engage the ones who approve).
Radioactive: Criticizing Islam—the subject is just as sacrosanct here as in Egypt or Saudi Arabia.
Definitely not: Saying anything negative about the kingdom—which is illegal anyway.
Not a good idea: The Palestinian situation, but especially the refugees in Jordan who don't have full citizenship or sovereignty (despite the fact that together with Iraqi refugees they outnumber Jordanians).
Ill-advised: The historic treatment of bedouins—although it's fine to document their many past achievements (slightly analogous to Native Americans in the United States).
Talk away! The country's relatively high level of development; and the queen's beauty and good works.
SOUTH AFRICA
Absolutely verboten: Modern-day racism—people like to think of themselves as having moved completely beyond the apartheid era.
Radioactive: The situation in Zimbabwe; and South Africa's lack of intervention against Robert Mugabe.
Definitely not: Former president Thabo Mbeki's controversial (and counterfactual) views on HIV and AIDS.
Not a good idea: Corruption charges against Jacob Zuma; and general political infighting.
Ill-advised: Criticisms of the government's performance in the post-apartheid era.
Talk away! Nelson Mandela; equal rights; and relative prosperity
MY THOUGHTS
just zip it. i'd be too scared to open my mouth. my lips are sealed.
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