KINDNESS OF STRANGERS

The Kindness of Strangers
Thursday February 3, 2011
Categories: Good Deeds

"Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers." - Blanche DuBois from A Streetcar Named Desire

When was the last time someone did something unexpectedly nice for you? Not someone you knew, but a total stranger? All this talk about compassion and the golden rule got me thinking about the kindness of strangers. It's happened to me a few times, but two instances really stand out.

A few years ago, I was dining out with a person who kept going on and on about himself, completely oblivious to the fact that I was sitting there in misery. It wasn't his company that bummed me out. I was recovering from a broken heart, and just sitting down to dinner reminded me of my last relationship. I could have collapsed in tears right there at the table.

When we picked up the check, the waitress said, "Your meal was already paid for." My friend and I didn't have a clue how it happened. Then I remembered a man coming in out of the corner of my eye. He was dressed in mostly white, sat down at the bar, had a shot of gin, stayed for maybe ten minutes, then left. The waitress said, "Yes, the gentleman who was in here a while ago paid for you." True story. It felt like a little nudge from God saying, "I see you, honey. It's gonna be okay."

Just last year, I was running a half-marathon. With just .1 miles to go, I was out of gas. Runners call it "hitting the wall"; I thought I couldn't move another muscle. Out of nowhere, a teenager jogs up next to me and says, "What's your name, sweetie? Jennifer? Okay, Jennifer, let's go! Come on! It's just around the corner! You can do it!" And he ran with me until I picked up my pace. I found him at the finish line to thank him for the encouragement only to learn he wasn't even supposed to be in the race that day. He was running in place of someone else.

I still shake my head when I think of these momentary angels that came to me at my point of need. Do you have any experiences like this? A random act of kindness by a stranger? Share your story.

MY THOUGHTS

got your own story to tell? it certainly feels good when some stranger shows you kindness.  but it feels even better when you're that stranger being kind to another human being you don't know.  picking-up the cheque might be too much. but we don't need a list of how-to-be-kind.  just look around, feel around and rise up to the occasion.

Etiquette 101:How to deliver bad news

ASK THE EXPERT | HOW TO DELIVER BAD NEWS
Wednesday, 20th October 2010
KAY-YUT CHEN AND MARINA KRAKOVSKY
http://www.cityam.com/city-focus/ask-the-expert-how-deliver-bad-news

LUCKILY for most of us, we don’t have to announce anything as difficult as cuts in the welfare budget, unlike George Osborne, who outlined his comprehensive spending review yesterday. Yet at some point in their careers all managers have to deliver bad news. So when you do, what’s the best way?

For starters, explain, explain, explain. Decades of research in psychology and behavioural economics point to the importance of providing explanations for your actions. Whether you’re making an unfair offer, playing uncooperatively in a Prisoner’s Dilemma game, or announcing a layoff, explaining why you're doing what you’re doing and showing that you mean well typically softens the blow. In the absence of explanations, people have a tendency to assume the worst of intentions for your behaviour. And though it seems to the more rational-minded among us that the only pertinent information is the objective outcome – such as pounds lost or saved – to most people what is in your heart and mind matters quite a bit.

Second, focus on the most pertinent comparisons. Human nature means that bad news makes for good copy, and dire rumors spread faster than good tidings. It’s not surprising, then, that listeners tend to focus on the most dramatic aspects of a situation rather than the most level-headed.

Thirdly, make sure that you are framing your news in the best way for you. Give statistics, background and information to back up why you are doing what you are. There are many ways to spin a situation, so make sure that your justifications are clear and well backed-up with facts and figures. Then you are more likely to bring people with you.

Finally, be decisive. Though some people thrill to uncertain prospects, most loathe uncertainty. Part of the danger in delivering bad news is that it will be seen as a sign of more trouble to come. So if the news you’re delivering is the worst of it, say so.

Kay-Yut Chen and Marina Krakovsky are the authors of Secrets of the Moneylab: How Understanding People Will Increase Your Profits (Portfolio Penguin)

MY THOUGHTS
i will never like being the bearer of bad news. what's more difficult is what comes after you deliver the bad news. you're able to somehow plan what to say about the news.  but you can never tell how the person would react.