etiquette 101: getting along in a muslim world

Etiquette 101: Smart Talk
by Boris Kachka | Published November 2009 | See more Condé Nast Traveler articles
http://www.concierge.com/cntraveler/articles/501931

Getting Along in the Muslim World
No matter what brings you to the Middle East, navigating the religious and political taboos requires following a unique set of rules that apply more or less across the region

ISLAM There are ways to discuss the religion while in no way implying that it's fallible. Lindsay and Wes Heinlein, who served in Jordan with the Peace Corps and have traveled throughout the Middle East, developed their own way of discussing the issue. "Although Islam is not an actively proselytizing religion, concerned folks will want to know you're going to the same heaven as they are, just as in America," says Lindsay. "Agree that Christianity, Judaism, and Islam are all religions of the book,' and then change the subject."

ISRAEL It's too easy to get wrapped up in defending against the various conspiracy theories that abound about the country. If confronted with one, try to change the subject (family is a favorite) and perhaps move toward an agreement that the governments are at fault. Many Middle Easterners will happily agree that Jews per se are not to blame. But all in all, it's a sticky subject.

FOR MEN Verbally praising another man's wife or daughter—especially complimenting her appearance—is inadvisable. Wes remembers playing football with a Jordanian at a center for the disabled; sometimes they would play not for prizes but for "honor," and Wes once said, "Let's play for your sister's honor." The man would not talk to him for months.

FOR WOMEN Mentioning relationships outside of marriage may not earn you public reprimands, but it will often result in a lack of respect. Some Western women even refer to "fiancés" back home and call male friends "brothers" in order to fend off prying questions

DRINKING It's often done on the sly, and mostly by men. For women, discussing drinking is inadvisable. "In tourist areas, it's fine for women to drink in public," says Lindsay, "just not to talk about it the next day, as in, I got so bombed!'

COMPLIMENTS Sometimes complimenting someone's belongings will result in being offered those objects as gifts. It's such an ingrained tradition that locals have even jokingly offered their children to the Heinleins. This also means that a compliment directed toward your own possessions may come with a similar expectation.

PORK In predominantly Muslim countries, even non-Muslims do not eat pork. It is considered unclean, and no amount of persuasion will change anyone's mind—so it isn't really worth bringing up the subject. You won't find any pork regardless of what you say.

MY THOUGHTS
very helpful, indeed.  you don't want to offend anyone.  especially if you're alone in their country.